Monday, June 22, 2009

Deny, Deny, Deny

I'm starting to wonder what kind of insanity has taken hold of this place.

It seems that Butterfly Net has flown the coup. Rick, despite multiple protestations to the contrary, is the only person who's surprised by this. Every time he says how sure he is we'll never hear from her again, he's picking up the phone to call.

Flowerpower, our erstwhile former co-counsel, seems to be confused. I'm not sure what part of "your services are no longer required" is unclear. Yet, despite being told this several times, he reports alternately feeling "left out" and "heartened" regarding his future involvement. My situation being what it is, and my caffeine supply being low, I have little to no tolerance for men who have only a passing acquaintance with consistency. Flowerpower has consistently oscillated between threatening to walk out if his conditions are not met (reminiscent of the famous VanHalen "Brown M & M's" Clause) and being super-excited about some development and wanting to have special guy-bonding-time with Rick. The fact that Flowerpower's name so closely resembles Priest's real name that when I glanced at his resume on the conference table I thought Priest was applying for a job and I almost had a heart attack, doesn't endear him to me, especially given the similarities in their hot/cold behavior. He continues state his intention to file his part of the case, despite being fired by the client.

Phone Call: Friend of the Court. Wanting to confirm the half-a-bajillion settlement on Neck Crack's case. Silence and confused looks exchanged between Rick and myself. There's no settlement deal. For any amount of money. It appears that in order to avoid a show-cause hearing regarding a statutory lien, Neck Crack has informed the relevant parties that his case has settled for more than a quarter million dollars, despite the fact that there is no such offer on the table. Not. Even. Close. Apparently, he thought saying it would make it true.

Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt.

Following weeks of alternating angry, threatening, and friendly, hopeful letters, phone calls, and emails, Flowerpower is silent. Nikki asserts that he's getting a lawyer. Rick and I think he's stockpiling fertilizer to blow up the Federal Building. I work in the Federal Building.

Shit.

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