Tuesday, June 23, 2009

McFrickin' Code of Silence

Once, years ago, my friends and I ruminated on one of the great questions of life: If you saw one of your friends in a porn, would you watch?

Years, hours of web-surfing, and many bottles of alcohol later, I have an answer. Not only would we watch, we'd desperately try to get an internet signal in the boonies to take a peek.

During a weekend with the girls a few months ago, we did that very thing, upon finding out that a former mutual acquaintance had posed in his birthday suit for a porn site. It was surprising, given what little I knew about this person, we'll call him "John Doe" for purposes of anonymity (although, I wonder how much he really wants to keep his dirty little secret, given that his face is shown, grinning in the picture).

Flash forward to a lunch date between a mixed group of those in-the-know and those not-in-the-know. One of those apparently in the latter group is a good friend of "John." And we're doing the "who-do-you-still-see-from?" Talk gets to John, yadda, yadda, yadda. Shanna and I exchange looks and bite our lips to keep from laughing. All of a sudden, Lis rejoins the conversation. "John who?" she asks. "John Doe," the friend replies. Lis all but screams with laughter "OHHHH YEAH!!" in a voice that all but assures us she's about to spill something hilarious/embarrasing about this guy. At this point she catches herself. Pause. Pause. "He had blonde hair," she finishes, the most anticlimactic cover imaginable. Luckily, nobody but us three notice the strange exclamation.

Life skills: how to politely dance around an old friend's new porn career.